朽木百哉のブォグ

During my conversation with Chung Kit, it reminded us of the hard times we went through when our cell leader gave us a hard time to forcefully make us go for the church camp, stressing its importance and even told Chung Kit that they have found a buyer for his mobile phone without his consent. This event was about 10 years ago and still vividly in my memory though I've put it behind me.

He told me about his cell issues which he had to resolve as some of them are not as supportive and now that he has been appointed as cell leader, he had to iron out all these issues and I popped the question about how is Esther since I've not seen her for eons. I was told that she's in the Youth and appointed as a leader there...and jokingly told him to send my regards to her, telling her that it's from the One-Winged Angel, aka the Angel of Death, half-clown, half-skull faced and he told me not to dwell on it.

He mentioned about my muscle building and I jokingly commented that it was meant to choke slam her when I see her and he said "mind you, she's a girl" and I told him it's irregardless of gender as both of us had went through the crude and tough times together...maybe it's God's will that I didn't attend it since my parents were violently objective to me about attending church events, since a consent was required when I was under 21 back then.

His dad sponsored him for a Cisco-networking course which he will be commencing soon with ITE; good for him since it would be something that he would like to do in future after leaving the forces in 3 years' time.

Time flutters like a butterfly passing our sight; it's already 7 years he's in the forces and I have left 2 years ago; life ain't that easy going though I managed to learn alot of things and get to know a few good men / women in my path of work, as well as going through the rough patches together with my beloved.

Chung Kit's still patching back with his ex and it would be my joy to see them reunited again since his ex's still sorting out some family issues and he told me that his parents find her weird when she didn't greet them after he brought her home a couple of times...guess this would need sometime since she told him that she wanted to patch back but not the right time yet.

We had sometime of animating one of his Pastor (Dom is the name) whom was pretty mean and crude back then when he started pastorship, and called his sermon "doom session" which distracted him while he was trying to get his report done...seemed like the infamous "C" virus is working well, so to speak.

This was the humor "virus" left behind by Kevin who has since retired...he had been a fun guy to be with during our secondary school days more than 10 years ago when he struck the likings of many students and went to the extend of making himself a fool for the sake of mischief.

All these are sealed in the time capsule. We all have to grow up and move on but it serves as a good tool for me to tickle the younger populations.

The muscles are steadily growing as time goes.

I managed to catch Yuzhen at the gym after her work today, and had some time to rest after chatting up with her about meeting up next time before I commence new job, or sometime later in the month with Shanique for a chill out.

She certainly has become more opened up after knowing her better and being able to converse in depth with her...just realised that her myopia is quite serious and that she is wearing contacts after a closer examination to her eyes when sitting by during our conversation...it is no wonder that I didn't see her wearing glasses at work and I told her that I had not been making new ones since I've used up my disposables quite sometime back, and she jokingly commented that guys are lazy which I revoluted in humour.

Muscles are tired by they have had a good workout after resting for the weekend and read up some information on web, that I can adopt a two-day workout, 1 day rest so that my muscles can have sufficient rest in between workouts and develop better. For now, need to finish up the workout of deltoids as they need more pump up to be in better shape.

During the workout, she gave me the "aiyo" look when I helped her carry out the sit up mat when she asked if I'm done as she is going to do her sit ups after I told her that I still have more to do, with a dash of bashfulness in her smile.

She had been pretty low-profile at work and only opened up recently when I went to talk to her. Afterall, it's good to see her talking more and am able to tell that she's of the shy nature...

Will be meeting her in a couple of days or so again and catching up after our workout.

It has been awhile since I've wrote here with all the WOW trashing that has been getting tougher by the levels I attempt to pump up...time to get a decent PC that supports the graphics processing since my laptop has reached its limits, though system has prompted that it does not meet minimum requirements.

It's finally time to say goodbye to my current workplace and going for something better, which will justify the rightful amount I should be earning instead of getting peanuts and staying way so below my beloved, who is earning such a greater amount than I am and doing more glamorous work.

I didn't want to tell her this as it would only result in negative response and getting squashed verbally and deem me useless as a man. Afterall, are there any wrong in men earning more than women, with the mind of providing more for her and his family?

The farewell dinner had been great and seeing Markus much happier than before when he was working here had been a wonderful sight, and being able to mingle with colleagues whom will be ex soon, in a couple of weeks when I officially leave this place. Sharrifah's radiant smile is one good thing about learning to be strong and positive in life despite facing challenges and gloomy situations wherever we are...an example which I can adopt to face the current difficulties I am going through.

Certainly, the 15 months had been great fellowship with many ups and downs, and while gritting my teeth to go thorugh the emotionally strenous work we all go through, it's high time I throw in the towel and move on.

Surely, they'll miss me but it's not the end to the fellowship. Our roads will still meet again in future though uncertain is the time.

There had been many things that have been changing while during my stay, and have established a good relationship with many of them. While the road ahead remains uncertain, my goals and dreams remain unclouded as I move forward to make it all come to past.

This journey may be tough and cold, and overpowerly challenging but I'm not going to give up...that might be the worst trait I have that may also be known as my strongest trait too.

Being absent from writing here had been a good time for me to regroup my emotions, plans and plotting out where my next move should be. The route to take has been pretty much clearer after recomposition and detailed planning.

Many thougts encumber my mind even at the decision of throwing in the towel; should I go full time into realty or should I move on to a better pay job?

On one hand, I wish for my beloved to be proud of me, to be able to provide for our family for life, and yet on the other hand, I have to be practical and not let the desire to be a rich and powerful man to be my stumbling block.

Balance, balance is all I need now after fixing up my cashflow issues.

The life in the forces had been great as my beloved commented how nice it is when she visited me at my camp premises back then, with the kind of good pay and considering my position to be in command and be in charge of more important things. Certainly they have been great but those days are over. Now it's the time to bring back the glory unto greater heights.

Have faith in me, beloved...it might require some time for me to be away from you, but it'll definitely be worth it as I'm not going to let nitty-gritty matters come into my way to succeed. Your love has been wonderful to keep me going...

A woke up call from my beloved distrupted my snooze which I had almost entered complete slumber when I was resting my head on the makeshift pillow from my towel across my hand and she started to ask me what went wrong and I told her that it was nothing much.

She started telling me how she couldn't sleep after waking up in the wee hours to call someone in China to scold that person for work, and thereafter having a busy day as her colleague took urgent leave and she had to do her work as well...it all seemed to implicate that I had been adding unto her discomfort that she is feeling...she then went on to say if we could grow up by not using the "momo head" gesture.

It wasn't meant to be this way and I explained to her that the gesture was something that I use to express my care for her, and though unsaid, I know that in my heart she likes me to do that to comfort her and it didn't seem so this time.

After the conversation, I return to my workplace and lay on head and trying to recuperate and get more rest, but couldn't enter the wee bit into slumber and wrote a message to her and she replied to ask me to give her a break...after sometime of no reply from her, I wrote another message but still no reply after more than 45mins...wonder if she's feeling better or still angry with me in any way.

Had I picked a wrong day to tell her how I'm feeling? She commented that emotions are emotions and it's how I feel...indeed it is what I feel but I am a sentimental person who can be affected emotionally in a way by things happening around me or to my loved ones in a way, but not this time when I tried to show her that I still care for her...

Must I be driven to the stage where my heart will be turned chilly like the metal without any lifeform in it, will she then regret, or should I still stay so loving and seemingly "wait on her" till she returns?

The tides are rough and to stand firm, my anchor must be buried deep in the soils of my faith to get what I want, which the tides could corrode its exterior and yet causing it to be more seasoned, stronger, tougher, fortified.

No more time for lovey dovey...making big money is all that is important to me now...

Just an hour more to go before calling a 2 day break to rest and recuperate for the next 3 days of continuous night shifting.

The night had been quite peaceful without much disturbance. Thank God, there wasn't any rian which could chill further, and managed to get some rest. Fortunately I didn't drive too as it would be so tiring to be stuck in the forecasted jam on the highway which I suffered a drained fatigue when driving home yesterday.

Gotta really get a good rest when I get home later as the posture to rest during night shift would be called, challenging and uncomfortable. Fortunately I am omni-adaptable and able to rest in all places as "self-trained" in the armed forces...haha!

It has been quite a while since I have written anything here...been busy raiding on World of Warcraft, or WOW for short, which is a new stint to spice up my life for the moment. Of course, the mental battling regime continues without fail, for me to enhance growth.

It's been about a week into the game and still having lots to learn before going to be able to call myself a pro. This game is simply different in terms of structure.