朽木百哉のブォグ

Stranglely woke up at 5am way before my pre-set alarm timing and the rest of the night didn't seem really peaceful...somehow feeling disturbed...

I felt so heaty so I went to flush 2 cups of water down my throat...thereafter, staying up to continue the setting up of my website before catching a 40 eye-wink till 7am.

Feeling much better after a refreshing bath with a bowl of cereal, to complete with a cup of mixed beverage. Ready to move out.

Awoken by the familiar sound of the opening tune of the latest version of Gatsby commercial, I saw the most beautiful sight of dawn from my room's window and captured a shot of it.

It's warm night yet still feeling tired from yesterday's intensiveness though I could quickly adopt to start on the work, but still need some more rest to get full recovery. This will be the last week for now at my work, as I'll be staying in camp the following week; take it as a short break away from work so to speak...will miss Pink as I'll be on the other side of the island.

It's the first time I'm went for an interview with a modelling agency; the journey was tiring from from the dreamy mind I had after some intensive work and making my way there; it took me a while to find the place, 80 Lorong Limau, which turned out to be a standalone building in the middle of a carpark beside a low-levelled shophouse called Whampoa Food Centre.

Lots of self-stuck signboards along the wall leading to a lift which brings me up to #02-195, welcomed by a door stuck with variosu studio shots and signboard of contact no depicting "modelling agency" with a cellphone no.
The first thing I noticed about the office is that it's full of clutter with a huge professional videocam perched on a tripod. I was asked to fill up a form, watch the documentary and some files. Thereafter, I was asked to see the boss who also appeared a a few ads which he rattled very quickly about the job.
Without asking much about me, he told me that I need to pay $1000 upfront as joining fee and when I resisted, he started telling me about how many were cheated with lower fee deals and showed me several articles of these cheating agencies...well I went on to question him why that price and he explained it's meant for promoting purpose and photos will be taken using film, preaching it's real quality compared to those digitally taken which are cheapskate and only comes out in a data CD.

When I didn't want to fork out any money, he offered instalment paymen scampily and was ready to fill up the receipt booklet with his shiny pen, and while explaining, gave me a few articles / namecards telling me you can earn a few thousand here and there for appearing in this and that...

I decided to turn down as I don'First pre-glam encountert feel comfortable about his idea to ask me to pay first with no promises of assignments thereafter; which many have fell victimised by such people.

I had to eat soon after I left the place as I resisted hunger to settle this once and for all. It's still a good eye-opener to get an insight of how a person will first experience for that desire for glam. Of course, there are good ones out there but for this one, I'll definitely give it a pass. As the saying goes, the first impression lasts, how true can it be with the view I saw of his office at the first encounter.

Tonight calls for a good rest as I suddenly felt so tired that I dozed off in a whiff for a short moment.

The workout had been great and fulfilling this morning which I managed to sweat it all out, all the more I need a good rest tonight so that I can arrive earlier at workplace tomorrow to have a “full package” workout before commencing the 12-hour shift which goes all the way till 8pm, prior to the break the day after.

A refreshed mind and surge of new-found energy came upon me when I awoke and chatted casually with Yuk Chen when she was getting ready to knock off to head to the gym. One more gym partner but hours are different so I won’t be able to see her or Yiren who also frequents the gym.

Looking forward to the bus journey home later which I can rest or snooze onboard instead of draining my mind while staying awake to ensure I get home safely.

Just a couple of hours more before I hit the road back home, snooze on the bus, and for a good rest and home-made yummy meal by mum.

Though feeling sticky due to perspiration from the fiery dinner I had, the journey was set out to pick up Pink and our little one, and brought them to the newly revamped Downtown East.

A wonderful lighting of with the word "Cadbury" greeted us which resembled a ferris wheel, but thereafter, upon closer examination, turned out to be a real ferris wheel under shelter which a family of 3 fares at $15.50. Considering the crowd, we decided to forgo and went exploring at the nearby Fairprice supermart which was newly done up and well-lit.

We skimmed through a few places of the supermart and stopped over at the wine section where Pink suggested we could spend time together drinking and chatting in our own time, while our little one is tucked into bed when we have our own place next time...certainly a good idea as I can hold my liquor pretty well, and Pink can be in good hands when she drinks with me.

A stopover was done after shopping for some groceries and out little one started feasting on the sushi we bought. I had better pay more attention to his nails as they're pretty stained and worried about him getting a stomachache from handling food with his dirty nails.

The outing was short but it certainly is meaningful; the only thing I need to learn, is to accept Pink and our little one's messy habit when we have our own home; something I need to work on to handle it in a positive way.

It had been months since I wrote my thoughts here due to the long hours at work from the forthcoming peak season at our work.

Yesterday was the last day of our beloved AVP at my workplace but I didn't have the time to say good bye to her due to the intensity of workload. It only occured to me when I received her reply from my well-wishes which the kindness in her words triggered my eyes brimming with tears. She had really been a wonderful boss to us, and as far as I know, the nicest boss I had in my working life to date. The fellowship was short but the respect I have for her will last for eternity.

Coming to the thought, she has been someone whom I've always looked up to at work, as I desire to be as successful like her; being in a senior management position and yet such a nice person by nature. It may not be long before we meet again, which I won't know when, where or how.

Clearout, before I start wetting my cheeks.

An evening out with Pink but unable to communicate with her through SMS / call prior to meeting up as my outgoing calls / SMS had been frozen due to unpaid bills with the current financial contrain.

While waitin for her, I ran through my revision for the recently failed examination just to be sure that I get the facts and knowledge seeped int mind. Was a little mentally tired but still okay to spend time with Pink. We sat at an open space eatery in Simei and when Pink mentioned about her meeting up with some manager who is an expert in water treatment, I got turned silent based on the fact that I am not comfortable that she is mingling with important people as compared to the people I am mingling with. That spurred the question in my mind again: "Why am doing this job?"

She did ask me why but I only put it vaguely across to her that it irritates me to hear about her work matters and though she denied, soon after, she snapped at me saying that it is best that she don't talk to me ever which stirred my heart to become harder. Soon after, she told me that though hard-mouthed, she will still think rationally after sometime, but it's too late as she had already let out words that hurt. Despite her asking me repeatedly what went wrong, I didn't say much as I didn't want to make a scene.

After hearing that she missed me, it didn't tingle my heart much as my mind was fully occupied about clearing the exams as my appraisal will be coming soon; though I didn't pass,l I didn't want to tell Pink too much as I wanted to ensure things are stabilised at work and my Amway business, before I can allocate time to spend with her.

Once again the question about why she can be a manager and so well-paid came to my mind as I do not see any reason for me to be inferior to her, but I shan't tell her as this it'll be pointless.

We managed to spend sometime after some shopping at Eastpoint to wrap up the date, which I didn't want her to get the wrong idea that I'm with her only for certain reasons. Sometimes, loving her can be so hurting that I can't put them to words...not trying to sound negative here but I simply can't bring out the words to describe the hurts that she has caused to me through some unpleasant remarks in the past.

The best way for me to forget these hurts is to be successful and earning big bucks...oh well I can't think too much about it now; gotta clear the exams and stabilise the cashflow before talking about anything else. This will be the top priority of my life now.