An evening out with Pink but unable to communicate with her through SMS / call prior to meeting up as my outgoing calls / SMS had been frozen due to unpaid bills with the current financial contrain.

While waitin for her, I ran through my revision for the recently failed examination just to be sure that I get the facts and knowledge seeped int mind. Was a little mentally tired but still okay to spend time with Pink. We sat at an open space eatery in Simei and when Pink mentioned about her meeting up with some manager who is an expert in water treatment, I got turned silent based on the fact that I am not comfortable that she is mingling with important people as compared to the people I am mingling with. That spurred the question in my mind again: "Why am doing this job?"

She did ask me why but I only put it vaguely across to her that it irritates me to hear about her work matters and though she denied, soon after, she snapped at me saying that it is best that she don't talk to me ever which stirred my heart to become harder. Soon after, she told me that though hard-mouthed, she will still think rationally after sometime, but it's too late as she had already let out words that hurt. Despite her asking me repeatedly what went wrong, I didn't say much as I didn't want to make a scene.

After hearing that she missed me, it didn't tingle my heart much as my mind was fully occupied about clearing the exams as my appraisal will be coming soon; though I didn't pass,l I didn't want to tell Pink too much as I wanted to ensure things are stabilised at work and my Amway business, before I can allocate time to spend with her.

Once again the question about why she can be a manager and so well-paid came to my mind as I do not see any reason for me to be inferior to her, but I shan't tell her as this it'll be pointless.

We managed to spend sometime after some shopping at Eastpoint to wrap up the date, which I didn't want her to get the wrong idea that I'm with her only for certain reasons. Sometimes, loving her can be so hurting that I can't put them to words...not trying to sound negative here but I simply can't bring out the words to describe the hurts that she has caused to me through some unpleasant remarks in the past.

The best way for me to forget these hurts is to be successful and earning big bucks...oh well I can't think too much about it now; gotta clear the exams and stabilise the cashflow before talking about anything else. This will be the top priority of my life now.